Down The Aisle

Christmas Bucket List

2011-11-10T11:47:00.000-08:00

I seriously haven't blogged in 9 months.....well here I am 9 months pregnant. Lounging on the couch in my PJ's with my cider making my Christmas Bucket List. I love this season and am so so so excited to TRY and do these things....with a brand new baby some of them might not happen and I'm ok with that but I am so excited to spend the Holidays with my new little man.

Happy Fall/Winter!

Christmas Bucket List:

o Bake Nutella cookies

o Get Christmas Pajamas for the family

o Get Ornaments for the family

o Get a Christmas Tree

o Read the Story of Jesus’ birth one night as a family

o Go to a church service on Christmas Eve

o Drink Hot Cocoa and Decorate the Christmas Tree

o Christmas the house

o Get Amos a ugly dog sweater

o Leave random gifts at people’s doors or grocery cards

o Find a Charity to donate to

o Go to Candy Cane Lane

o Go to a Christmas Party

o Kiss my husband under some mistletoe

o Take a family picture with Santa

o Go to Johnny’s Christmas Bazaar

o Go to a tree lighting

o Go to Streets of Bethlehem

o Go to the Musical Light House

o Go get starbucks and window shop

o Go for a walk in Carmel

o Donate old jackets/clothes to a shelter

o Donate to Toys for Tots

o Donate $ or food the food bank

o Go to the Dickens Fair

o Read Christmas Stories to my son

o Go to the Boat Parade

o Go to a Christmas Parade

o Wrap Presents, watch Christmas Movies and drink glogg

o See a play or concert

o Eat Holiday Sundays

o Have a cookie baking party

o Build a gingerbread house as a family

o Jingle bell walk

o Pop popcorn and watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

o Watch:

o It’s a wonderful life

o The Holiday

o Elf

o The Family Stone

o Charlie Brown Christmas

o The Christmas Classics

o The Nativity Story

o A Christmas Story

Parks and Rec.

2011-03-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

I'm obsessed with this show and I wish Aubrey Plaza was my best friend.

The End.

Recently Recents.

2011-03-10T18:48:00.000-08:00

(Took this with my phone right now and I liked it.)

I haven't blogged in approx. 3 months. Not because I haven't had things to say, more because I am just hella lazy.

And I have discovered that my type A personality is best organized in bullets and numbers. So here is an update, for those of you who have missed my ramblings.

What I am learning in friendships:

They are hard. Friendships are wavering. They can hurt and they aren't forever. Here is the thing I have had my share of wavering friends. I have had some that have ended because we both sucked at keeping in touch, or went on our own ways and never made the effort. I have had some end because something somewhere became too much for either one of us, so we bailed on each other, in the hard moment, didn't fight for it, or didn't see the worth. And then there are the ones that some kind of conflict occurred and afterwards there was no recovery, no reconciliation. That last one...well that last one can be pretty heartbreaking. I've been on the other end of friendships that somewhere in there I made a mistake and when things got hard, I got ditched. That feeling sucks, it's hard, I have felt disposable, I have felt worthless, I've downright felt like a really miserable person that no one really loved when they saw that I was messy and dirty, not perfect, and had issues. Honestly, those were the moments...in my mess.....where I needed those people to stick by me, wipe the dirt off my face and say "I love you anyways." But that's been a rare occurrence and it's caused a lot of calluses around my heart. Those moments have been my crutch when I say "I don't trust people, because when you do you just get hurt." I've leaned on that more than I did on my faith and the promise that God could heal me from it. But about a year ago, Jesus told me He would guard my heart and protect it, and that if I trusted Him, than it wasn't my job to try and do it myself. So He sent me some really beautiful people around that time, to test me, to sharpen me, to challenge me, to love me. These people taught me things about myself, helped me to trust, and opened my heart to friendship, and made me believe that it was good and fun and that the person I am, right now, could be loved...not just by people who "had" to love me (Josh and my family). But that is is quite possible that I could have friends who love me for who I am, scars, stains, mistakes and all. And it made me want to love them the same, it made me want to love people the same.

Those past broken relationships left scars on my heart, it will always hurt a little I think, but man, the love I have felt and feel and get to share with others, it's never felt so freeing. Friendship is scary, it's not certain and there is risk. But I am learning to not hold back on loving people, because people are worth it, and you know what? I am worth it too. I am not disposable. I am worth getting to know.

What I am learning in marriage:

To thank God. To praise Him. To thank Him for my husband and to praise Him for where He has brought Josh and I. We haven't had the easiest of times. The past few years have been so damn rough but so incredibly beautiful. I have cried and weeped before God to take me out of our marriage and I have cried and weeped these past few months thanking Him that He didn't. He never gave up on us, He always knew who we could be together, He ALWAYS had a plan. And my husband, he is my gosh dang hero. I have never had more love in my heart for him, I have never longed more in my soul for fellowship with him. He is perfect to me, even in his flaws, because Josh is God's son, made in His image, on the same journey as I am, and I am honored, so honored I GET to be married to such a man. Josh is kind, patient, not easily angered, he forgives me, he rejoices in good things with me, he trusts me, he protects me, he isn't rude or selfish, and he believes and hopes in Jesus. And Jesus NEVER fails.

What I am learning from Jesus:

That hanging out with Him makes you healthy, balanced, and makes you realize how blessed you are. That when you pray for a "Faith like Job's" He is going to give it to you. (So be careful) That Gospel music, as cheesy as it can be can make you cry. That His words bring life to my thirsty soul. That His timing can heal. That suffering is a part of life on earth and experience really does make you more wise. That I am not worthy, but I have worth.

I suppose that is all for now. I hope you read this and didn't just get offended that I said a few cuss words. And I hope you know that Jesus is working in your life too. You have worth.

Merry Christmas Grumpy Pants.

2010-11-30T19:01:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. I'm one of those people who get excited about the red christmas cups at Starbucks, I can't wait to bust out scarfs, I pee a little when there are christmas lights everywhere, and the day after thanksgiving I only listen to Christmas music. I am one of THOSE people. So this blog may be biased. It may be a little naive and it may be an overflow of my optimism. But I need to write this.

I was picking up some of my YL friends for club and as we passed this very lit, very decorated house I slowed down and said (in a very 26 year old mature woman voice) "Heeeeyyy look at that happy house!" and in the back 2 of the boys were all of a sudden Ebenezer freaking Scrooge. "I hate Christmas it was a pagan holiday...Jesus was really born in the spring etc."

(I told them I was going to blog about them and they said it was ok and felt "honored".)

So I let them have their moment. Then everyone started talking about cup of noodles or something. This hasn't been my only experience with this kind of attitude. I've had several conversations with several different people about the "spoiled, fat, and lazy" reputation that we Americans have acquired. I mean black friday, I get it, it's gross how obsessed with things we are. I get that, and I don't deny that. I read a tweet the other day that said:

"Americans spend $450 billion on Christmas every year. It would cost $10 billion dollars to give the whole world clean water."

Yes, it's sad. Yes, we have an abundance of things. Who really needs a $3 toaster? I don't know. But here is the beautiful thing here. And if we can stop bitching (I can't think of a better word, so I apologize for those of you who never hear/read swear words...don't go to the movies) over how gross americans are and how spoiled we are I feel like we can find beauty in Christmas. So this is my soap box list, maybe it will help, maybe it will upset you, maybe you will just think I am silly and don't care about reality. But I do. Because Jesus is the reality here.....not $3 toasters.

1) There is Christmas music on the radio. I'm all for some Mariah Carey (BTW I highly doubt all she wanted for christmas was the guy she was singing about....just sayin') Guys....did you not read me?! There is CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE RADIO! Do you know what that means? That means apart from "let it snow" and "frosty the snowman" they are singing "Silent Night", " O Holy Night" and "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" Have you ever read the lyrics to those songs? Example:

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

They are playing this stuff in stores, on public radio, in supermarkets, in malls. This is a worship song. And it's the one time in the whole year where you will hear Jesus' name, life, and mission being honored and praised and no one is angry about it, and if they are no one cares. This is worship. And it's to Jesus.

2) Everyone knows what Christmas is about. Even if they say "happy holidays" they are basically just acknowledging saying "Merry Christmas" is offensive, which Jesus is. But no one can deny that this is a celebration of the birth of Christ, no matter what else you want to call it, no matter what you chose to say or celebrate. It's Jesus' birthday....maybe not literally of course...but where are our hearts? They are thankful, they are in awe. And if we can share that aspect of it without getting pissed off about the commercialism of it all, I think we can better spread the joy we have that this little baby came to save us and before He did we were hopeless.

3) Family time. No matter how dysfunctional, dramatic, or awkward I think it brings great joy to God that this day brings people together. Not just family, but friends, loved ones. God invented relationships and I like to think it makes Him happy when we are together.

4) Gifts. I've been told by many on numerous occasions that this is my love language. It makes sense I suppose. I LOVE gift giving. I love it. And yes, I've fallen victim to really tacky gifts, and I am sure I am victimized loved ones as well. But I like the fact that people think of each other. Even if it's in a superficial way as to "I HAVE to get so and so a gift". I am not embracing that as the way it should be, I think they should be thoughtful, creative, but not everyone has that gift.....seriously. Some people just aren't creative in the gift giving way, but here is the thing.....people are trying. People are trying! I love that. I hate money. But I like the idea that we are spending money on other people if only to just remind them we thought of them. There is something kind of innocent about that if you really think about it. It's like macaroni art when you were in kindergarden. You know deep down your mom isn't really dying to have one....I think at an early age we even think that....but dang, when you give it to her and she is stoked. I like to think it's like that while you are exchanging gifts. People are trying for other people. I think there is something lovely in that.

That's all I've got for now. I am sure I'll think of more...I always do.

Friends, this is the word we live in. And there are beautiful people in it trying to make it different. But what do we expect? It's a fallen world. Are we expected to understand how to celebrate a perfect and holy baby king? I don't think so, because even our purest worship is so much less that He deserves. But I do think we can try. We can try and make the best out of the fact that there is more to this season than black friday and shopping, and nasty fruit cakes, and egg nog. There is more here and I want to embrace the innocence here that Jesus came in a manger and wise men brought him gifts, and there was a star that led them to Him. I don't want to be angry at what we have made it, I just want to do it differently. And I think that is possible! I really do. Let's start by stop being so angry. How about it?

Let's sing along with the radio...

His power and glory ever more proclaim!

I have a good life because of the people in it.

2010-11-23T16:13:00.000-08:00

"Every burden I have carried,

Every joy--it's understood.

Life with you is half as hard,

And twice as good."

Hunger.

2010-11-17T22:45:00.000-08:00

This is Sara Miles:

She started a food pantry in San Francisco. She believes that food is one of the most powerful tools to bring people into community with Jesus. I like food and I like Jesus. In a few weeks a friend and I are going to go volunteer for half the day at the food pantry and I am SO excited about it. She wrote a book about her stories there called "Jesus Freak" and here are some of my favorite things she said:

"God doesn't need me to take care of everyone. God just needs me to recognize Jesus whenever He shows up and say 'hi'."

"Jesus gave us the authority to heal as He sent us out. He doesn't show us how to make the blind see, or even drive out demons. But He shows us how to enter into a life in which the broken and held in love. In which the deepest desires of our hearts draw us to health. don't be afraid, he said, your faith has made you well."

"I realized who Jesus often asks the desperate people who came to Him 'do you want to be well'. Do you want to be well even if it hurts? Do you want to be well if it separates you from your own identity? Do you want to be well more than you want to stay the same? Real healing means following the truth."

"Jesus is real, and so praise God, are we. Every single thing the resurrected Jesus does on earth He does through our bodies. You are fed, you are healed, you are forgiven, you are pronounced clean. You are loved and you are raised from the dead. Go and do likewise."

The last quote was the very last paragraph of the book and it make me tear up.

God is so beyond me and I'll never get enough of Him.

Jesus loves the stubborn, whiny babies.

2010-11-14T21:10:00.000-08:00

I mean these isn't really a verse in the bible that says that. But I am certain He does. I just finished reading through Job about a week ago and one of my favorite verses in the book (Job is my favorite book. #extraglimpsesintomylife) is this:

"Think of how you have instructed many, how you have strengthened feeble hands. your words have supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees. But now trouble comes to you and you are discouraged, it strikes you and you are dismayed. Should not piety be your confidence and your blameless ways be your hope?" -Job 4:3-6-

So this was Job's good old pal Eliphaz (which always reminds me of a wizard of oz character) and He is speaking to Job basically saying "Dude, you have been an instructor, a guide, an advisor to so many and now that you are in a position of trouble/testing/weakness/trial you are discouraged and dismayed....what....the...heck?!" Obviously not the real words...actually maybe in some translation somewhere....but besides the point.....I wish I could say that this wasn't ever me when I am in the midst of a trial. I mean, it is easy to give advice...and I don't think it is just easy for me. I think as a culture we are a bunch of impatient quick fixing machines. I think we love trying to fix things and we feel pretty good about ourselves when we are able to give a solid piece of advice. I mean, I don't always think this is a bad thing, for the most part I really do think people have the best intentions in doing this and I like to think in my optimistic brain that we care about the people around us enough to want to see their lives be easier. I'm a younglife leader, it's what I do, and if you are in ministry such as younglife or a youth group, or a small group leader....etc etc....we are leaders, people come to us, and we pray for them, and encourage them, we give them verses and we help, we are helpers. It's a calling and it's a beautiful one. But when the situation is reversed and we are on the other side of the spectrum (by we I mean me...and maybe you too?) this verse that I shared is the verse that I hear most of the time while driving somewhere. Not all the time, and honestly there are only certain issues that I face in times of testing that I honestly doubt God can fix. They seem impossible and they seem forever. The pain, the discouragement, the doubt, it all seems like it is too much for God, and obviously way too much for me. So I sulk, I say cuss words when I pray, and I harden my heart and sit in my mess. And I don't want to move, because moving means I am going to have to say that I am sorry. And I don't want to say that I am sorry because that means I was wrong. And I hate being wrong. See I can help people all day, I can pray all day for people, I can intercede for people and believe with all my heart that God will do His best and perfect will for their lives, but it's when I get hit with a conflict, an argument, an insecurity, a doubt, an offense, I don't care about where I directed everyone else, because I don't believe that God can or will do the same for me.

I get this is a lot to post on a silly blog. I get that. But I also get I am not the only one who has ever felt that way/feels this way.

When did God's promise become enough for everyone else but us? And when did we accept the lie that His grace's sufficiency was limited to our dirty hands?

I want to say it stops now and by a click of a mouse I am healed of this. I want to say that tonight is the night I stop believing the lies. I want to say that this is the trial, the test, that forces me to trust Him completely. I want to say all that but I won't, because it's not true. But I can start by saying it will be true. I can start by believing He has the best waiting for me. I will start by trusting that this will pass and that He is on my side. I can take those steps for now and I can start by saying I believe the other things will fall into place. All I can do is try and I am really seeing that that is all He is asking me to do.

I do believe when I am weak, Jesus, You are strong. You are perfect.

Ramblin's

2010-11-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that is still left in him."

-C. S. Lewis

This is the thing I like about having a twitter. I "follow" some pretty legit quote makers. AW Tozer, Bob Goff, Oswald Chambers, and CS Lewis are my favorites. This was the one that was posted on the CS Lewis feed and I found it to be incredibly encouraging.

I am a dirty stinky sinner. I realize I am beautiful and pure in the sight of Jesus....I get that, and I am thankful for it "errday" of my life, but by golly geeze there is so much....SO MUCH rotten nast in my heart. I've been realizing how impatient I am, and how everything that I want God to change about my heart has to do with my patience. Such as, I am easily frustrated, when I feel like I am not being understood...oh gosh. My initial reaction is "Ugh nevermind!" (Ask Josh) Or I am not that great of a listener, but I really want to be, so lately I have been trying to focus on what people are saying, and not what I need to do next...that's honestly pretty tough for me, but it won't be forever, God's working it out.

All this to say, I like that I am aware of my faults....at least these ones...for now. Because, I suppose that means I am getting better, not perfect, but I am growing. Every day, every trial, every test, I am being brought from glory to glory, by God's patience where mine falls short, by God's grace, when I am weak. By His mercy, when I am slow on figuring crap out. He's working in me, and sometimes it isn't always comfortable, but it's comforting knowing if I was just to stay this way forever, it would be enough, I would be enough for Him, He'd still love me, but I like that He's teaching me how to live life.

Please don't take this as "Oh EM Gee.....Erika like totally hates herself.." Because I don't. I actually really like myself...probably more than I should. I am encouraged that we have a God who loves us the way we are, but enough to adjust us, and it's FOR us. Yes, He uses us for His glory....but He works in us so we can have abundant life, a good life, one we can enjoy....and let's face it, we do life a lot better when we are healthy. We love with others better when we love ourselves enough to love others. (That made sense....read it again.)

Okay ready....here is the proof:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

Pure Joy! Develops! Finished Work! Mature and complete...We'll get there.....let's keep going.

My Frens.

2010-11-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

Yes I meant to spell it that way. Get off me.

I have amazing friends. I get a lot of people say that but at this point of my life....and I am sure/hope I will just continue to learn this....but I am learning who they are and why they matter and why it matters that I love them for who they are and not just who they are to me. So this blog is going to embarrass them a little I suppose. But my hope is that is will also bless them and remind them that I think the world of them. I was talking to one of my YL kids about this and the importance of having more than just one friend, but realizing that different people meet different needs. I mean I love Josh, he is the best friend anyone could ask for, but he isn't all I need in a friend, and I am not all he needs in a friend, we can't be that for each other, there is no way. Different people minister to us in different ways. We need people to survive, we need people to get us through life and through each day. We need people to rejoice with us, we need people to lift up our arms. I went through so much of my life thinking I just needed me, and it was lonely. We can't do life alone, and we weren't meant to either. That's just silly.

These are my best friends...

Josh: I know, he's my husband right....yes, but he is my best friend. He listens to me well and he loves me great. He gets me like no one else does. Really. But aside from who he is to me....he is an amazing man. He gets along with EVERYONE all the time. And he accepts people for who they are right there....there aren't a lot of people like that anymore. People feel comfortable around him, he is good at loving people.

My Mom: Aside from being my mom. She is the most gentle and gracious person I have ever known in my life. She is patient. And you would be better for knowing her. Plus she taught me how to love Jesus. She is an amazing wife. She has a huge heart for people and she uses it to every capacity she can and time will allow. She doesn't make excuses. Plus, she raised 3 kids on 1 pay check and still managed to give us what we wanted, not just what we needed. My mom isn't just a good mom, she is a good person. She is a great person. High five God. You make them good.

Anna: Anna was my friend when I didn't have any. When Josh was deployed she lived in my house...not really but she kind of did. She took me out on the birthday when Josh was gone. She prayed for me a lot and she was ok with me when I was angry at God, she never tried to fix me, she just sat next to me and said "yeah this sucks." And I love that about her. Anna loves Jesus like He is next to her all the time. She has a messy relationship with Jesus, but I've never seen it so real in anyone's life. Anna is the real thing.

Rebecca: She is my oldest friend. Rebecca and I met when we were in 5th grade and I used to call her "cow-girl" (Because she liked cows...don't judge me.) I've been through everything with her. Literally. Now we are both married and she has a kid, and I love that kid like I would love my own. We've seen each other at the absolute worst and honestly still want to be around each other. Which is huge. Mostly because I went through a seriously raunchy tom boy stage and she still wanted to hang out with me. Brave. I love her. We are supposedly grown ups now and she has done everything she set out to do since we were 12. And she is good at her life. She's got her stuff together. Plus, she makes me laugh all the time.

Carly: Don't eeeeeven get me started. I feel like I could just claim that this girl is my friend and be way cooler just by knowing her, but the truth is Carly makes me love Jesus. She makes me see Jesus in ways I never did. Her heart for Jesus is so genuine and so freaking captivated. Conversations and time I spend with her are good for my soul. She refreshes me. She is incredibly talented and makes me laugh. the best part is that she has every reason to be otherwise, but she is so humble. You know how christians call each other "sisters and brothers", when I think of Carly that is what I think of, she is my sister, she carries my burdens and she lifts them up to Jesus. I like that I have that kind of friend in her. Plus she snorts when she laughs and she isn't afraid to be goofy.

D'angelo: This is my buddy. D'angelo is the most caring person I know. He is hilarious, listens to inappropriate rap music with me, and he teaches me how to dance. D'angelo is one of those people who will always be there when you need them. He is consistent and he is steady. He says how he feels and he tells you when you suck....but in the most gentle way ever. I love being friends with him because he is friends to both Josh and I but in a totally separate way....it makes sense. He is so good at younglife and kids are drawn to him. I love that I get to do ministry with him. It's so much stinking fun.

Lauren: ("Wallace") I don't impress her. She isn't impresses with me. I don't mean that in an awful way, I am just being honest. Sometimes I can care a little too much about how cool I think I am...like hey look at my cool clothes, or I play guitar, I'm kind of funny, laugh at me..ha...ha...ha....no not with her. I don't impress her. And I don't have to. She likes me literally for who I am. She knows me very well and still wants to hang out with me. She tells me what I need to hear.....even if I don't want to hear it. I know this may seem like she is just this super harsh friend, but it's the opposite, she loves me genuinely well and being her friend has made me want to love others that way too. She gets me, she gets my moods and my humor, she gets when things are awkward. She just understands things about me. She is amazingly good at younglife and she would argue, but I think she is one of the most selfless people I have known. Wallace makes me want to live a good life.

These are the people in my life that love me well. And I am thankful every single day that I get them and get to be apart of their lives. I am better for knowing you guys.

Soto Out.

I did nothing.

2010-10-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

"It is not repentance that saves me— repentance is only the sign that I realize what God has done through Christ Jesus. The danger here is putting the emphasis on the effect, instead of on the cause. Is it my obedience, consecration, and dedication that make me right with God? It is never that! I am made right with God because, prior to all of that, Christ died. When I turn to God and by belief accept what God reveals, the miraculous atonement by the Cross of Christ instantly places me into a right relationship with God." -Oswald Chambers.

It is finished....that is lovely.

PS:

2010-10-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

This week I purchased:

Taylor Swift - Speak Now

JJ Heller - When I am With You

Joe Purdy- Joe Purdy

All which are really good. I expected some fluffy guilty pleasure pop songs from T-Sweezy. But it's actually a really well done album. Make note.

In 2.5 days....

2010-10-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

This kid will be here visiting us Soto's. Um, yeah nbd.....

(We can't wait to see you Mondo!)

Dates With Jesus

2010-10-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

(This is my idea of a perfect date with Jesus.....btw.)

I've been really taking this serious lately. Experiencing things with Jesus. Spending time with Him. Riding my bike with Him. Making time for Him.

I feel like the last 11 years of my life that I have been asking Jesus to change me, to transform me. To make me like Him. How the heck do I expect this if I don't spend quality time with Him.

I've been married to Josh for 3 years, we are genuinely morphing into the same person. We laugh the same, we talk the same, and simple things like the legs of his pants are getting smaller. (No me gusta wide leg jeans) All joking aside, it's because we are around each other, we catch us, we enjoy each other, we live with each other. I am finding that even with my closest friend I began to start saying things that they do, or thinking the same things are funny. Who I spend my time with is really who I reflect. And in my heart of hearts I desire to be more like Jesus, it's so obvious how to do that, in this way, and why the heck would I not want to hang with the guy. He is funny, He is creative, He loves music, and He loves me at every moment, even when I am not my best, even when my best is awful. He is simple and mysterious. He is easy going and He is also direct.

I feel like if we can start to consider His character then we would really stop looking at church, prayer, His word as work. Maybe, I don't know everything, but I think it makes sense. It isn't work to have to call one of my friends to catch up, it isn't work to see my husband at the end of the day and laugh with him. Why is it work to read my bible? Because it's not boring. Why is it work to pray when God is so easy to talk to and such a good listener?

God help us get this down. Help us remember Your character. You are great.

I want to live this.

2010-09-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

-Matthew 6:33-

I want to love God with all I have, so everything that comes from me is the overflow of my heart for Him.

I want to care about His kingdom first and know my human needs will be met.

I want to cherish my relationship with Him and see that I will have healthy relationships with others, because I have a healthy relationship with Him.

I don't want to try to be good enough or better for anyone, I want to remember that I am good enough for my Heavenly Father. And my identity in Him will sustain me, motivate me, change me, renew me, and restore me.

I want to stand in His truths and His thoughts about me. And I want His voice to drown out anything different.

Man, God is a personal God. He blows my mind.

I love how we get to share in His victory.

2010-09-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

I read this today.

2010-08-31T15:53:00.001-07:00

Jesus said "the kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say "here it is" or "there it is" because the kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:20-21)

Holler.

- Blogged using my iPhone. Huzzah.

WHAT'S THE GOOD OF PRAYER?

2010-08-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

(I took this from My Utmost For His Highest, one of my favorite books. I feel like Jesus has really been teaching me these things. We have not because we ask not. But how crazy that the Holy Spirit prays FOR us when we don't know what to pray. How crazy that maybe we might be praying the wrong things? IE "God deliver me from this instead of "God deliver me IN this!" How crazy that the Almighty, Creator of ALL things, lends His ear to us. He listens. He cares. Crazy.)

"Lord, teach us to pray." Luke 11:1

It is not part of the life of a natural man to pray. We hear it said that a man will suffer in his life if he does not pray; I question it. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God in him, which is nourished not by food, but by prayer. When a man is born from above, the life of the Son of God is born in him, and he can either starve that life or nourish it. Prayer is the way the life of God is nourished. Our ordinary views of prayer are not found in the New Testament. We look upon prayer as a means of getting things for ourselves; the Bible idea of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself.

"Ask and ye shall receive." We grouse before God, we are apologetic or apathetic, but we ask very few things. Yet what a splendid audacity a childlike child has! Our Lord says - "Except ye become as little children." Ask, and God will do. Give Jesus Christ a chance, give Him elbow room, and no man will ever do this unless he is at his wits' end. When a man is at his wits' end it is not a cowardly thing to pray, it is the only way he can get into touch with Reality. Be yourself before God and present your problems, the things you know you have come to your wits' end over. As long as you are self-sufficient, you do not need to ask God for anything.

It is not so true that "prayer changes things" as that prayer changes me and I change things. God has so constituted things that prayer on the basis of Redemption alters the way in which a man looks at things. Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man's disposition.

Jesus, help us get this down too.

Jesus, help us get this down.

2010-08-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

"How amazing it is that the thing we so dislike about someone, we can pray to God that it can be broken from them."

I was told that today by my mentor.

So the first time she said "breaking it over them." and it made me laugh because I was thinking of like the old school movies that people break vases and flower pots over people's heads and I thought "that doesn't sound so bad..."

The concept is pretty sweet. That instead of focusing on the things we would like to see differently in others, we can pray that that spirit of (fill in the blank) would be broken from them.

Why do we think that word broken is so bad? Like when people say "I am broken." Yes, not the best of FEELINGS, but I know my best seasons with God was where I was broken and desperate before Him. I know that is when I was moldable, when I was able to be worked upon. When I was being fixed. Today I heard this word differently. I heard the word broken in a redemptive way. In a freeing way. I mean, I guess when we say Jesus breaks our chains, it is in that context right?

But when we can think of something we don't like in someone's life or character, something that hurts us, how awesome that we can pray that God would break that from them. I was really encouraged by this today.

What if we prayed this for the people that hurt/have hurt us? (Psalm 91)

For God will command his angels concerning (name) to guard (him/her) in all (his/her) ways; they will lift (name) up in their hands, so that (name) will not strike (his/her's) foot against a stone. (name) will tread upon the lion and the cobra; (name) will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because (name) loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue (him/her); I will protect (him/her), for (he/she) acknowledges my name. (name) will call upon me, and I will answer (him/her); I will be with (name) in trouble, I will deliver (name) and honor (him/her). With long life will I satisfy (name) and show (him/her) my salvation."

The fact is even christians brothers and sisters can hurt us, let's be honest....we do not know how to love each other perfectly. We can't. We can't be perfect to each other in a fallen world. But I do think the way we treat each other would look so freaking different if we remembered that what we say, do, think, act upon we are doing to a child of God. A daughter, a son, of the most high God. People belong to HIM. So what if we prayed like this? Can you imagine the healing that would be done, not just on others, but in US? I just started praying this for someone today and my heart is changing so peacefully.

Dang, we have to start with us, don't we? We have to start with our hearts. And believing God can change us, and break us, and that He has the power to heal us.

Jesus, help us get this down.

I only love you when you are good.

2010-08-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

This is a thought that I have been having lately. This has been a thought that I have struggled with since I really started walking with Jesus. That I have to be good. That I have to be good in order to be loved.

I was talking to Josh about this the other day, we had this rad 3 hour conversation one night, about literally everything. We were talking about our walks and our church life, and how when we first started dating he felt alive and excited about church and fellowship and such and then he asked if I did and I said "no" Not because I was like backsliding in my faith, but around the time Josh and I started dating I had the mentality that I HAD to have it ALL together for everyone and everything. I told him that that part of our lives, in our church community was very different for me than it was for him. When we started dating Josh had just started really walking with the Lord, and I had kind of been in routine. Which is what drew me to him, because everything was new to him, and it made me fall back in love with Christ, he would read a verse I had read a hundred times, and he had a zeal and passion for the word, it made me really recognize the rut I had gotten into.

I feel like God has healed me of that lie. The lie that I have to have it all together. I don't have to. And I don't. My life is beautiful, but I am still a mess in so many areas. There are so many things I have not given over to Jesus, and so many struggles I am learning to hand over and let Him work in my heart. And I think these past 6 years of knowing Josh have helped me realize that God's love for me is steady and consistent and I don't doubt that God loves me in my mess. I don't doubt that God forgives me and adores me still even in my flesh. I am thankful to be confident in that. But I am seeing that I lack that confidence in other relationships. I think it is really easy to be surface friends with people. It's easy. It's easy to show people the parts of yourself that you like, so that's all they know of you. But a friendship can only go so far, it can only grow so much on that. I think we desire intimacy with each other. Everyone wants to feel loved and understood....and you can't do that in a surface relationship. I don't think you can anyways. But intimacy is scary. You let people in, you give people the permission to know your heart, and you can't take that back. You give someone a vital glimpse into who you are, your story, your past, whatever the thought, and once you give that to them, you can't take it back. And it's a freaking leap of faith to trust someone with your heart, because people are human, and good intentions or not, we are not perfect in loving each other. Now I am not talking about spilling your soul to everyone and anyone who shows interest you, there has to be healthy boundaries. You have to guard your heart in all things, that's biblical. But my question is do we only love people when they are good? Am I the kind of person that when people tell me something "bad" about them, reveal their flaw, or show me a fault, am I the type of person that loves them anyways. I want to say yes, and for the most part I think I am. But what about when their flaw INVOLVES you? What if they did something to hurt you, or wronged you? Do I punish them by leaving them alone and backing off because I am so hurt I can't see past my need to protect myself? Or do I pursue them, with gentle forgiveness, with lovingkindness, with LONG SUFFERING? Isn't that what that word means? To suffer long with them? I'm not saying be a doormat, that's not God's intention for us. Sometimes it is necessary to step back. That's a whole other issue....but what I am saying is I know I am not the only one in the world who has accepted the lie that people will only like me when I am good, when they see the cool, fun, easy side of me. And if I am not the only one, what have we done to create this place of such conditional love?

I really want to change that. I want to be loved for who I am, flaws and all. And if I want that, and God tells me to love my neighbor as myself. Than that seems like the solution. To love people when they are "bad". Love them when they have hurt me. Love them when they are difficult. Love them when they are freaking impossible.

But how?

This may be a cliche' thing to write, but there is so much truth here and honestly, I don't think there is a better guideline.

To be patient and to be kind. To not be jealous. To not boast or be prideful. To not be rude and not selfish. To not be easily angered. To keep no record of wrongs and to not delight in evil. To rejoice in the truth and to protect. To always trust and always hope. To persevere.

This is what love is and love is from God and God is love. And He didn't leave us here alone to figure it out, He said here is my spirit and my word. Ask and you will receive.

Maybe this is a lot to put on the internet for the world to see, but I don't care. Because I think it's a good thing to bring to the surface. Let us love people when they are bad. (Agape)

The end.

my new cd.

2010-08-07T23:18:00.000-07:00

it's free. holler.

City and Colour

2010-07-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

Against The Grain

This song is lovely. I just wanted to share it.

You know you are a Younglife Leader when:

2010-07-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This may not be entirely accurate for all those in YL leadership, however I have found that a various amount of the statements below have been proven first hand by myself, my volunteers, friends, ministry partners, and/or other substantial evidence. Take no offense and feel free to add more.

Sincerly,

Erika B. Soto

1) You have a various amount of inappropriate rap music on your Ipod.

2) You have a various amount of pop garbage on you Ipod.

3) You have used the phrase "Dude, it's for club." to defend yourself in the response "um, why do you have this song?"

4) You subscribe to Relevant Magazine

5) You own the Nooma videos and show them at campaigners.

6) You have a pile full of Younglife Apparrel and outfits that you really only wear at camp, because every where else it wouldn't be that cool. (Younglife belts, bandanas, younglife shoelaces...etc)

7) You make up nicknames for kids whose names you don't know.

8) You think you are a little cooler than every other at camp when the special musician knows you by name.

9) When anyone says "Back to Basics" you feel like throwing up.

10) You've thought about quitting at least 3 times a school year.

11) You know what "Denny's corner" is.

12) You know how to jerk.

13) You have a camelback backpack.

14) You know to move to the side when you hear "peel bananas, peel peel bananas."

15) It seems like every camp you suffer from the "altitooties" aka constipation and bloating.

16) You own at least one pair of Toms.

17) You make your own shorts.

18) It makes you a little peeved when people knock "The Message" bible.

19) You have a MAC.

20) If you don't have a MAC. You want one.

21) You have received some interesting glances at your shopping cart when it is filled with spam, whip cream, pie tins, and baby food.

22) You have at one time purchased 50 goldfish and have hidden your guilt by saying "well it's for ministry."

23) It's weird to explain "program" to someone who doesn't know what it is.

24) You have tried your hardest but when you explain club to kids during contact work it still sounds lame. (IE: Kid: What do you do? Leader: Play games and sing. Kid: Uh, yeah maybe."

25) You know when a new kid says "Maybe" when you invite them to club....they aren't going to come.

26) You have accumulated more visitor passes than D.A.R.E ever could.

27) Just admit it, you get a little pissed when flier you pass out during contact work are on the ground.

28) When you have looked at your prop room and pulled out an object and have said "What game could we use this for?"

29) You know the eternal value of pie tins.

30) Shaving cream > Whip cream.

(That's all for now....like I said feel free to add some.)

The May Blog

2010-06-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone.

I apologize for my lack of blogs. It's not really that I have been too busy. More that I forget and/or am lazy. So here is a recap of my life in simplest form.

May 18, 2010 was Josh and I's 3 year anniversary. There are many on my list, but these are my top 10 reasons I love being married to this guy: (in no particular order)

1) He is hilarious. Josh makes me laugh ALL the time. And I need to laugh to stay sane.

2) He is ridiculously thoughtful. I don't know how many times I have come home after a long day and he has went out and brought me mochi ice cream, or an itunes card, or a real simple magazine....I mean I like flowers, they are awesome, but he goes the extra mile.

3) He is a really good friend. Not to just me, but to everyone he meets. He gets along with everyone all the time. Guys with no drama = fatty thumbs up.

4) He is never awkward. I can hang out with him with anyone at any time and know will make them feel loved.

5) Um...look at his face. He is hot.

6) He loves Jesus. And he isn't afraid to say that to anyone. He doesn't shove it in people's faces or anything, but he is firm in his faith and he isn't afraid to admit he doesn't know everything about Jesus, but refuses to stop learning. It encourages me.

7) He loves "his" family. And he loves "my" family.

8) He is always there to listen when I need to vent about my day etc....

9) He is so talented. Everything that he tries he is automatically good at. Art, guitar, photography....you name it.

10) He always turns to God in everything. When something good happens he thanks God, and when something not so good happens, He seeks God. I love that.

THEN...May 21, 2010 was my 26 birthday. And these are the top 10 things I am learning about my 26 years on this planet.

1) Humility. I've always been really turned off to giving anyone the "upper hand" in my life. I am learning humility is freeing. It's a liberating thing to not have to be in control of every situation.

2) Who my friend are and what kind of friends I want. Not in a snobby way. But I am learning that I don't need to be friends with everyone. And while I do desire peace with people in my life. I have had fun figuring out what kind of friendships I desire in my life. I have had fun getting to know new friends and honestly, letting them know me. It's a healing kind of process and I love every moment in it.

3) Marriage is both beautiful and hard. I know that sounds so awful to say that marriage is hard. But I think it is. And I don't think it would be if I wasn't so dang sinful, but I am, we all are. I have learned to fight for my marriage when it feels hopeless and I have also learned how to fully enjoy my husband and everything about who he is and who God made him. I have given up of the lie that we are supposed to agree on every single thing or something is wrong. I've been lied to and I've accepted that lie for a long time, and I don't anymore. Marriage is amazing. It's the best thing aside from following Jesus I have ever ever ever done in my life. Um, and my husband is hot.

4) Expectations are awful. And I do not mean that in a way where we just accept crap for our lives, God desires us to have the best. HOWEVER, what I am learning is that my expectations for others have been impossible. And with that comes disappointment. My expectations that I have had for Josh, or my family, or my friends, or my coworkers have been unrealistic and it has left my feeling disappointed and the people I love worthless. I am learning to accept the quirks and the differences of the people I love. And I enjoy them more and I am certain they probably enjoy me more too.

5) Underneath all of our fancy "tricks" (As my friend Wallace likes to say) we are all little children trying to figure out who the hell we are. And I am not just talking about my YL kids. But I have learned if I start realizing that the people in my life are on the same path of self discovery and journey I am on, it helps me to empathize and see them with a more compassionate view. It's made me more patient and it's made me better at loving people.

6) Pray about everything. Simply because when we have not because we ask not.

7) I am learning to be the "emergent christian" is just as annoying as being the "cheesey christian" Okay so the cheesey christian likes the newsboys and wear the logo shirts with bible verse on them (you know, like Jesus...instead of Reese's) and the super cool hip emergent christian wear v-necks and thinks Derek Webb is super cool because he sings about Jesus and says cuss words. I am not making fun as much as I am trying to prove a point that NONE OF US KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING! So let's get off each other's backs. Let's let us be us, let me be me, I'll let you be you. I just want to be a more accepting person. I want people to know I am christian by my love, not just for them, but for my fellow christians.

8) I have too much stuff. I can be a bit vain when it comes to my clothes. It's not because I want to impress people with how good I look, but I want to feel good about how I look. And I don't think that is all bad, I just want to be more mindful of the money I spend and how I am advancing the kingdom instead of my wardrobe.

9) I love my bible. More than ever.

10) I love my Redeemer. More than ever. And I am seeing just how much He has redeemed in my life and just how well that name fits Him.

I have a good life and if you are reading this. I am glad you are in it.

Agape.

Add to your faith...

2010-05-10T23:24:00.000-07:00

Hey hey,

I read this today in "My Utmost For His Highest". I was pretty encouraged and honestly just wanted to share it with everyone. So for all 4 of you who read my blog...and my "I hate when you say cuss words" stalker...(See previous blog comments) this is for you all, I hope you are encouraged by it. I purpled the parts that I particularly liked.

(May 10)

"Add to your faith virtue. . ." 2 Peter 1:5

"Add" means there is something we have to do. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save ourselves nor sanctify ourselves, God does that; but God will not give us good habits, He will not give us character, He will not make us walk aright. We have to do all that ourselves, we have to work out the salvation God has worked in. "Add" means to get into the habit of doing things, and in the initial stages it is difficult. To take the initiative is to make a beginning, to instruct yourself in the way you have to go.

Beware of the tendency of asking the way when you know it perfectly well. Take the initiative, stop hesitating, and take the first step. Be resolute when God speaks, act in faith immediately on what He says, and never revise your decisions. If you hesitate when God tells you to do a thing, you endanger your standing in grace. Take the initiative, take it yourself, take the step with your will now, make it impossible to go back. Burn your bridges behind you - "I will write that letter"; "I willpay that debt." Make the thing inevitable.

We have to get into the habit of hearkening to God about everything, to form the habit of finding out what God says. If when a crisis comes, we instinctively turn to God, we know that the habit has been formed. We have to take the initiative where we are, not where we are not."

I especially like the part where it says that when we instinctively turn to God when a crisis comes, we have formed a habit. How different the world might be if we all prayed like that.

I am excited for heaven.

'til next time.

Restless.

2010-05-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: a restless mood.
unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
never at rest; perpetually agitated or in motion: the restless sea.
without rest; without restful sleep: a restless night.
unceasingly active; averse to quiet or inaction, as persons: a restless crowd.

I am realizing this has become a state of being for me. And I wonder why I am always do tired. I don't rest. And I am not just talking about sleep, because I can sleep. I can't sit still. And I have had a hell of a time focusing. Maybe it's my job and the busyness of ministry. I can't say it's school, because school is probably the easiest endeavor I have. It might be the kids I work with, it might be my ministry partners. It might be my home and my marriage. And not that those things are not important, they are vital to my existence. But they all take something calm away from my life, maybe it's me though, maybe I let them. I don't remember the last time I just sat on a beach and read or just stared. I don't know the last time I played guitar and just worshipped. These used to be weekly even daily parts of my life. I am not complaining, I have a beautiful and blessed life. I have unbelievably radical husband, I have really loving and encouraging friends, and I have an amazing family that would drop the world to be next to me. I have a job that I literally get to see God everyday in some form or another. I love my life. I do wish, it was slow down a bit. I guess that it would allow me to catch up. I know I am not the only one with this kind of life. I realize I am part of the majority of humanity. And I also realize I have to do this myself. I am learning so much that there are things about and in my life and my health that I get to change and make the decision to do better....and it's not just about waiting around for God to show you a plant on fire for you to began the journey. It's about realizing what you NEED to do to survive the journey. I mean really, to get your ass up and onward, right? I mean if I can be bold. I just finished giving you 5 excuses on why I can't get rest, but excuses aren't reasons, they are just ways to avoid the reasons and the answers.

I just got really distracted because there is a woman in the coffee shop I am staring at me....you know the creeper stare that when you notice they still don't look away, then you look away, then look back just to see they are still staring...yup just check again, still staring. Okay anyways...

I bought Phil Wickham's newish cd....I know I am late and it was released months ago, but I was trying to copy it from a friend so I didn't have to buy it, but I decided I was tired of waiting. I don't know if you own in, but f you do or if you can I would recommend "Heaven Song" This part stuck out to me the most.

You wrote a letter and You signed your name
I read every word of it page by page
You said that You'd be coming, coming for me soon
Oh my God I'll be ready for You

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can't wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song

Walking with Jesus and being in relationship with Him is not easy and it takes work. But are we making excuses to avoid putting in the work? And if Jesus said that we are to come to him, because we are heavy, burdened, and tired, because He is gentle and humble, why are we complaining about being exhausted?

It's not You, Jesus, It's me.

Billy's Last Supa Club

2010-05-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

It was awesome.

- Blogged using my iPhone. Huzzah.

Highlights

2010-04-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

It's that time again where our next 5 weekends are betrothed to fundraising for camp. I love this time because it's kid time all the time, but it is also the busiest and can be the most stressful time of the year. We are all pulling weight and strings and working hard, knowing and believing that the amazing things that go on at camp makes all the hard work and busy-ness worth it. God meets kids there and kids meet God there, in an environment that we can't always provide here at home. And it's good. I just wanted to share some of the highlights:

Our first customer at our carwash:

Josh holding up a sign one of the girls made, probably why they decided to come support us......
Our BBQ booth in front of the chapel and Stephen, Tomas, Juan, Andres, Jonathon, and Deanna.
That's it for now.

Moses

2010-04-08T22:25:00.001-07:00

Hey Friends,

So I finished reading Revelation yesterday and started reading Exodus today.....okay, is it just me, or does anyone else here Bob Marley chanting it in the background? "ExOOduus" Whatever ok, um and I love it. I would hang out with Moses. Because he was kind of in a way a little ditzy of a man in the first few chapters. I've never read Exodus on my own, I've heard it taught a million times in college and church, but there is something so much more intimate when taking on a book in that way. Just you and God. Its almost like....hey if you have something to say to me, it's going to happen now. But I have so far enjoyed it. I try to do like a chapter a day, but it was pretty good and I ended up reading like 5 chapters. Because I like what God does here with this sissy of a guy who keeps asking God....ugh can someone else do it? I don't think that Moses meant to anger God or to offend him. Moses was just like "I don't feel like I am the best guy for the job"

DOES THIS RING A BELL ANYONE?????!!!!

How many of us have given this lame excuse to God when He puts something uncomfortable in front of us. "Oh, hey thanks for the offer, but um you see God....I know better than you." Is what we are really saying. Yeah, it's fine to be scared out of your mind and humbled when God gives us these tasks, but I have to believe it is because He knows we can do it and maybe the way we are feeling about ourselves...unqualified, that is, is so we will not rely on our own strength to do it. That is why I think Moses kept asking him...."What if they don't believe me?" I think He might have been in a sly way...asking for God's help, because Moses knew that they would doubt his words, but he also knew if God would help him, he could perhaps get the job done.

I love that. I love that kind of silly faith. That sometimes we have and sometimes we lack, because we don't feel good enough, or think someone could do it better. It's such a lie. Because we can do ALL things thru Jesus who gives us strength. All things. Moses didn't have that verse yet, so I'm cutting him some slack.

There are so many cheesy little sayings I could throw in here about God not calling the qualified but calling the willing and so on and so forth. But I guess I want to leave you with a thought I had earlier. God has a plan for everyone, right? And if He sets a path in front of my feet and I walk away because I am scared to take on the challenge, does someone else have to fill it? Do they have to leave what they have been called to do to accommodate for my fears?

I don't like that. So here we go...

Never thought I'd be into this.

2010-03-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so one of my goals for Spring Break was to re-do our backyard, on a budget, so it isn't done. But I must tell you, I kicked some arse of some rancid weeds. So here are the before and after! It needs some more stuff, like plants and such. We'll get there. Baby steps.

Before:

After:

Before:

After:

Then Josh and I made a legit dinner and ate outside. It was loads of goodness.

That's it for now. Peace out.

I love my life.

2010-03-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

So, I went to Santa Monica this weekend to visit my good ol' friend Carly. It was awesome. Totally refreshing and restful and it was good to laugh and have solid conversations with Carly, as it always is. She makes me look at life a little differently every time I hang with her. It's good and I love being her friend.

The highlight: hanging underneath planes at the random park/lawn area near LAX with Carly, Jon and A.Stoltz; where these beautiful pictures were taken:

Afterwards Josh picked me up from the airport and we got crazy at Dave and Busters, walking away completely sober with a new football.

I know, I know, I lead a crazy arse life.

See you soon friends,

-erika

Cancun for spring break is for suckers.

2010-03-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

I'd much rather spend it bowling and eating at Denny's.

With my YL kids that is. Budumpbump.

Day: Went to the office and got my works goals accomplished, which is always a steller feeling for the OCD. Went to borders to attempt to finally finish Breaking Dawn.....almost there. Then took one of my girls Taylor to chopsticks and got to witness her first encounter with a Boba Tea....in which she later compared to a blot clot...might never look at it the same. Then went bowling with the kiddos and headed to Denny's for some amazing customer service.....sarcasm....but hey there were like 30 high school kids...not like I can blame him because he probably thought I was one of them. eh. mas o menos. Other than that it was loads of fun laughing with these kids. They are such a freaking joy in my life and are constantly reminding me of how fun heaven will be.

i cant stop.

2010-03-23T17:35:00.000-07:00

Today.

2010-03-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

I finished forgotten god by francis chan

I will now read pride and prejudice (im especially excited about it because i got it in this cover:

So I will now look super indie and cool like this:

I also finished hebrews today

I will now read revelation

I cannot fully explain to you the satisfying feeling i get by putting a read book on my shelf.

thats all for now.

my job.

2010-03-17T00:54:00.000-07:00

i dont want another one.

i dont always get to see the fruit of what i get to do, but when i do see it is big and it is bright.

a few weeks ago we asked the students to write on the wall of our room, their prayers, their dreams, their hearts. it was big and it was bright.

The God of all comfort.

2010-03-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but then I get a morning like this where I wake up to a text message from one of my girls Karla like this one:

"Hello! Thanks for being such a wonderful and amazing leader, you have taught me so much and i appreciate you for everything you do Soto, you are the best and I love you for that. Thanks for always being there for me thru good and bad"

It's like God's patting me on the back and saying "Keep going."

Today

2010-02-25T11:57:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling really encouraged right now. In so many different aspects of my life. In my marriage, in my "job", in my friendships, within my family. Like the things that matter the most in my life I am seeing God's hand really big and strong and smacking the hell out of everything rotten and tossing it to the gutter. And I really like it.

And I'm so freaking overwhelmed with how good He is to me and how much He surprises me that I am not even quite sure that I was comprehend or express in words, because words don't do these things justice. It's just joy, pure joy, and a radical peace that I am always taken care of. When my eyes are focused on the important things and when my eyes are wandering towards the things that don't matter, I am still always taken care of. My friend Lauren said something to me yesterday that I really liked, it was that it's not about doing all these really good things like reading our bibles or praying or "quiet time" to get to where we need to be with Jesus, it's about just wanting to be with Him period. Not working for a good relationship with Him, but just being desperate for it and desiring it. I think I was like that for a long time in my christian walk, doing the right things so I would be "good" with Jesus, instead of just genuinely wanting Him around. That is so perverted. And that's the word I want to use.

I hope that we can change that idea. And I hope I can exemplify that idea to my YL friends. It's about really wanting to hang out with God in a real way, not by doing the right things, but more like wanting the right things.

That's all for today. I love you. Bye.

Happy Birthday Karla!

2010-02-22T23:35:00.000-08:00

You are a radical lady and I love you. I love seeing Jesus shine in your life little sister.

Happy bday woman.

I love my family.

2010-02-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

"An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship."

-Spanish Proverb

that's all i feel like saying today.

Today

2010-02-09T10:46:00.001-08:00

I'm working from home.

I'm staying in my pajamas until I have to go somewhere.

Its glorious.

I know you hate to see me cry, one day You will set all things right.

2010-02-06T20:00:00.000-08:00

Josh.

2010-02-06T17:32:00.000-08:00

I think the idea of marriage is sometimes very freaking scary. You commit to this person for LIFE. For all your life. Till death do you part. The thought of marriage is intense, however the actual being married part, especially to your best friend, it's the most fun, adventurous, and meaningful thing I've ever done in my life. This is the one person in your life that you get to come clean with. Past, present, and future, there is nothing hidden. You learn their pet peeves and their faults, you learn what they love, and what they hate, what makes them laugh, and you learn what makes them fly. I feel honored that God has entrusted me with another human being. I mean, aside from one day having kids.....It's been a cool lesson to realize that my husband is God's son. It's humbling. I was put into this other person's life, to make it better, easier, lighter, joyful, beautiful. Maybe it's the idea that I have that ability that scares me, but it's a responsibility I embrace and hold really close to my heart. And it makes me love Jesus even more, because no one has ever believed in me like He has.

And as far as my husband goes, no one knows me better than to surprise me with these kinds of things:

I married up.
God is good.

Agape,
Soto

The only problem is I don't like to be stared at.

2010-02-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

Conundrum.

This is is why I love majoring in Child Development:

2010-02-05T07:46:00.001-08:00

Because we do things like this 80% of the time:

- Blogged using my iPhone. Huzzah.

Strangers in the night....dee dee dee dee dee.

2010-02-04T23:06:00.000-08:00

The picture I love is just one of my favs. So I thought I'd be extra thoughtful and let you take a "gander". I realize that I haven't blogged for almost a month, and I am deeply sorry all five of you who read my blog. Deeply sorry indeed.

I am awake and I have no idea why, actually I do, hence why I crawled out of bed and turned on the big mac and logged into my blog, so on and so forth. I think I can't sleep because I am excited. I am hopeful for every day right now because I see God refining, and digging, and un-crusting away at my life and my heart, and my mind, and my soul. And it feels weird, but it's exciting. You know why? Because I feel like me and Jesus are dating. Is that weird? I feel like I am getting to know who He wanted me to be more than I ever have in my life. I feel like He is romancing me. And I like it. It started two weeks ago. I was packing for the MCYM/Younglife Staff Conference in Georgia, and I was just at home, chillin' and listening to some....um. I don't rememeber, oh wait, it was Mat Kearney, and it was raining outside, and I was like "Maybe my flight will be canceled and I won't have to go!" and Jesus was like "WRONG!" and I was like "What? Lord, you know I'm like dreading this trip, I don't want to go at all. I won't know anyone, I don't want to know anyone...blah blah..mer mer. whine whine." And He was like "Erika Beth Soto......you have got this all wrong. I WANT YOU TO GO. And I'm going to do something in your heart and you might hate it, actually I am God, so I know you will, but you are going to embrace it." So I was like "k." So i got on a plane and arrived in Georgia and played nice with my temporary roommate at the time, and woke up the next day to sneak out and eat at an ihop by myself. Then I hid in my twilight book for a good hour or so before anyone really came to talk to me. That wasn't anyones fault but my own, see I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I was stand off-ish and "occupied" (I mean the twilight books are good, but they aren't THAAAAT good) And then as the bus is pulling up this chick with really long hair and a green peacoat comes up to me and introduces herself and to me and proceeds to take an interest in who I am. and I'm like "uh o, whatever, I'll play nice" so I did and I was, but heres the thing.....she didn't stop.

So we get to Sharp Top and we get our room assignments and then the long haired girl in the peacoat strolls into the same room and honestly, part of me was like "well cool now i know someone, and the other part was like dang, I'm doomed with no escape out of here." Oh, and her name is Lauren by the way. That's important to note. She continued.....and continued......and continued to ask me questions about my life, and my testimony, and I was so caught off guard that I dove right in. So I took this step back and was like "Yo Jesus, I don't know what I'm doing here, but it's a little too normal for me to be just making friends here when I had my heart set on not doing it." And I felt like all He was telling me was to jump. to leap. Not ever thinking that our friendship would mean much, but to try towards it anyways. So I did. And it's still just as scary to trust, and be friends and be A friend to someone, but it feels amazingly free. And then I couldn't stop doing it, everyone I met that week was so interesting to me, so fun, so WORTH getting to know. And I wasn't the selfish a-hole I was planning on being. I didn't even pray for new friends, I honestly kinda prayed against them. Thanks Jesus, for giving me what I need and not what I want.

This is so not my nature what so ever. But I am feeling called to be a woman who walks around with my heart, yes, guarded but not unreachable, boundaries, but not road barriers, instead convinced God is my protector, and I don't need to protect myself. I am certain that has become the current theme of my life. I do believe that at the end of my life, I want to know I had good friends, but more that I WAS a good friend. I've had a lot of really heart issues with friends, because I've lost so many, and each and every time I feel like it's taken a piece of me, and I am thankful for those times, because I have truly learned that my friendship with my Jesus is the one that matters the most and is most satisfying. And if He came to give me life, so that I may have it more abundantly, I have to learn to embrace every bit of that "abundantcy".

I'm free from those doubts and fears and worries, Jesus has wanted to free me from them along time ago, I held on to them. And this past experience for me was a realization that living in fear of getting hurt or disappointed is a lame way to live.

He isn't done with me yet, but I am so joyful in hope.

He did a lot more beautiful and amazingness in my heart that week, but I feel more compelled into sharing this story with you guys. Oh, and my friend Lauren, yeah I'm going to keep her.

Agape,
Soto

For Auld Lang Syne....

2010-01-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." -Romans 8:18-21

A few weeks ago I heard this quote on a podcast that said:

"Stop entertaining things that are below your calling."

It really stuck with me. And I thought about it. What am I called to? And what I am called to is not necessarily things that I am good at. it's not even necessarily talents. Or even things that come easy for me to do. I mean, I am not called to breathe.

I think that I am called to be free. Free from doubt, offense. pain, sorrow,I am called to live in joy, to have life and live it abundantly. I am called to not taking everything personal and I am called to rise up above offense and the natural reaction to protect myself. So I created my own version of the quote above:

"I will not react against what God has called me to be, even if I'm hurt, humbled, offended, or angry. I will be steadfast for my Jesus."

Let me explain a bit, okay, I absolutely love and adore my husband with all that I am. Sometimes, he isn't very sensitive, and it's not his fault, he doesn't set in his heart to offend me by not noticing I cleaned the bathroom, or did his laundry, or did my hair different, etc etc etc......(the list goes on). And this isn't to excuse him completely, because there are things in which he should appreciate more and vice versa, I am held equally accountable. HOWEVER there are things in which my silly little woman of a mind, heart, and soul, take completely out of context and my initial reaction is to shut down all sources of emotion and communication. For in that state, I am completely untouchable. I am my own protective wall building machine that isn't susceptible to pain, humility, anger, or offense. I fear nothing, because I fell nothing.

I don't want to be that way. Not to my husband, my friends, my boss, my family, and I most certainly do not want to be that way to Jesus. I mean, Jesus is steady for me. All the time. Am i greater than my Master? Am a greater than Jesus to create myself to feel nothing? If He wept, why should I hold back? If He held His tongue in the presence of persecution, why should I defend my every case? Am I greater than my Master?

So I am trying this new thing. I want to be steady. For those around me and most importantly for my Jesus. Now, this doesn't mean I am just going to let everyone walk all over me, and grace everything over. Because I am a firm believer that if Jesus loves me I need to love myself too, and He didn't call me to be a door mat. But I am called to be free. And I will not react against that, even when I am hurt. Even when I am offended. Even when I am angry. Even when I am humbled. Because if He promised to never leave me, to father the fatherless, to comfort me, to correct me, to shelter me, to encourage me, to make me soar, to provide for me, to forgive me, to teach me, to care for me, if He promised to protect me, then I don't need to protect myself.

That's all for now.

Agape, Erika

"Turnin' molehills into mountains,

Makin' big deals out of small ones,

Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,

This is how it's been.

Fear of coming out of my shell,

Too many things I can't do too well,

afraid I'll try real hard, and I'll fail--

This is how it's been.

Till the day You pounded on my heart's door,

And You shouted joyfully,

"You're not a slave anymore!'"

(Free: Ginny Owens)

The bells were ringing out on Christmas day.

2009-12-02T10:36:00.000-08:00

If you guys are looking for Christmas music:

1) Dustin Kensrue - The Good Night Is Still Everywhere

2) Charlie Brown Christmas (Classic)

3) WinterSong - The Hotel Cafe

4) David Archuleta - Christmas From The Heart (It's all poppy and cheesy but it's fun)

In other news:

I'm trying my hardest to be humble in every situation. To be honest with myself about my corrupt habits and to be honest in front of God to let Him search me and find if there is any evil way in me and lead me to the way everlasting. It's really hard, and it really hurts. I'm holding on to the joy that Jesus has given me in the fact that He molds us in gentleness.

And I am trying to be nicer to the people who act like total buttholes. So if I am being really out of the ordinary nice to you, it's because you are being a butthole.

Equally Skilled,

Erika

I'm so close to being so far away from You.

2009-11-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

So broken down and bought a few cd's this week:

Stop and Listen - Bethany Dillon
Where the wild things are soundtrack
You are there - Jimmy Robeson

and my legit groom got me the "Away we go" soundtrack.

Let's start with the Jimmy Robeson, this guys voice is so steller and frillz easy to harmonize with, which I suck at, so it's fun. His lyrics are kinda spiritually cheesey in the "yay God, worthy God" kinda way, I'm more of a Derek Webb, Jon Foremon, kinda worship girl. But dude, I needed music to draw me back to the basics. & this cd is totally focusing my eyes where they need to me, "Yo Jesus!"

Where the wild things are: could be creepy if it wasn't so great. Good reading/working music.

Away we go soundtrack....um. Well how can I say this, uh...it's good make out time music. Okay, blush blush, whatever. It's mellow, kinda reminds me of the Dan in real life soundtrack, gotta love Sondre. So it's good.

Ok, so Bethany Dillon, dude, I love this chick. Her music has honestly played a big part in my life, ( "For My Love" was the song I walked down to aisle to on my wedding day.) But she's got such freaking honest lyrics. I love honest lyrics. I love those songs that are so vulnerable, that when they artist is singing them it sounds like they could just cry at any moment of listening. There are a few songs on this album that are for sure favorites, but this one stuck out to me. I think because I am so this person in my walk. I am PRONE to wander. & it's got nothing to do with my love for Christ, but everything to do with the fact that I like to run away from problems instead of approach them. There are times that just suck and there are trials God considers me strong enough to face, and I'm like "oh no wah wah!" instead of like "GAR I EAT PEICES OF THIS FOR BREAKFAST!" So here you go read them and find it somewhere to listen to it, it's good.

I’m so close to being so far away from You

I was wrong, but it takes so much to say it to You

Like a broken husband and wife

Who never talk but share their nights

I’m so close to being so far away from You

I have nothing when I’m living apart from You

Outside, creation groans

To lose our darkness and be made whole

For my feet are close to slipping

Speak to my heart in time

You have promised, so I do believe

You won’t forget this wandering child

Still, I’m so close to being so far away from You

Though I know no one on their own makes it through

My soul clings to the dust

So in Your life, let it be enough

I’m so foolish to believe that I can escape Your love

For my feet were close to slipping

You spoke to my heart in time

You have promised, so I do believe

You won’t forget this wandering child

You’re so close when I feel far away from You

So, to be transparent in hopes that God will use all my foolishness for His glory! My husband and I have been being pretty terrible to each other. Not loving God like He deserves, and not loving each other like each other deserves. But God in His perfect amazing timing hooked us up. See my job paid for us to go to this marriage conference, and we both seriously went into this thinking "YES! They are going to teach (him/her) to be a better (Husband/Wife)! YES! Finally!" Oh wow, okay, so we walk in sit down and the first session alone they are like "FOCUS ON YOUR OWN STUFF" And my own stuff sucks to focus on, but it was good. There is so much I could write about what I learn and what God did in us, there was a lot of healing, there was a lot of reminders. I mean some of the things that these couples were facing made me feel so ridiculous for chewing out my husband cause he doesn't clean the bathroom, or pick up his clothes?! And I didn't walk out feeling like a failure, or that I've been a crap of a wife, I felt nourished, equipped, and encouraged, and EXCITED to be a better one. Dude, and my husband has been spoiling the heck out of me. He surprised me last night with a drive in movie in our garage, it was pretty legit. It's going to be work, it's going to take effort, but I am in this, He is in this, and when we allow Him to, Christ is in it with us. I feel ridiculous for not surrendering this to Him a long time ago. God is on our side.

If you want to know more of the stuff we learned, hit me up. pow pow. But really.

I guess all I have to say is God is on our side. We have an enemy. But it ain't each other.

Agape,

-Soto

Emergency God.

2009-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

This is what I do. I am in God's word, I read it, I pray, I make time for Jesus. This is what I do. When life is good, when my days are busy, I still do it. Then this thing happens as it usually does, this big fat curve ball knocks me straight in the teeth when I least expect it, and suddenly, I yearn for God. I would rather spend the whole day in bed reading and praying, because those are the moments where my every nerve in my body is exposed and I am suffering. And all I want is God. It's no longer my husband that gets me thru the day, it's no longer my minsitry or my job, it's no longer anything else that I want more than to hear God's voice. And there I am in submission, desperate, and broken before my God.

How do I keep getting to this place of yearning only when I am in a shitty place in my life?

It's like the flu. When everyone around you starts getting the flu, it's the where you are more conscious about disinfecting your things, washing your hands, taking your vitamans. It's then that you try everything and anything to prevent you from getting sick. All the while, you know you probably should have started this routine a long time ago. But now you are aware.

God has been this for me this past week. I haven't been aware that I have needed Him like I have. I think I'm fine, because Josh and I are doing really good right now, or we had 50 kids at Youngife last week, or I found enough money for our area that I won't get a pay cut! Yeah, life is good. Yay yay yay. And then the shit hits the fan and I'm like "Dang, God, I need you." & it's this sick pattern that I am so prone to. It's this lesson that I have learned a million and one times, and I keep returning back to it. My dirtiest sin isn't fighting with my husband, it's that I have forgotten God in the midst of living for Him. Don't read that like I don't make sense either, cause it makes sense. Just because we live for God, doesn't mean we know Him, doesn't mean we remember Him, and in some cases it doesn't even mean we love Him. We live on oxygen, doesn't mean we remember to breathe.

At the end of this my greatest apology isn't that I've been a horrible wife to Josh, it's that I've been a horrible wife to Jesus.

Jesus, let's be closer.
I'm sorry. I love you.

It's not that I'm a stranger to lonely moments...

2009-10-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

this song pretty much sums up how i am feeling about my life right bout now. oh jon foremon, if you were a girl, we could be best friends, but your not, and it sucks.

I love you Abba. Welcome me home.

You could stay a while longer
We could stay up and talk about last summer
We could go down to the water
Watch the sunset going under
It's not that I'm a stranger to lonely moments
I've had my share of those
Please don't go
Please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold

I could try and point the finger
But the glass points in my direction
Sure you've got your sharp edges
But my wounds are for my own reflection
You've got nothing I could ever hold against you
I've got fatal flaws to call my own
Please don't go
Please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold

I met a man who's looking for perfection
Said he'd never met a girl who's good enough
His eyes are getting old like they'd love to love again
Such a lonely man
Such a lonely man

I see him in my reflection
Taking steps towards me these days
So I hold you that much closer
And pray we don't throw this away
It's not that I'm a man who couldn't love you
I know what these arms are for
Please don't go
Please don't leave me alone
A mirror is so much harder to hold
A mirror is so much harder to hold
Please don't go
Please don't leave me cold
A mirror is so much harder to hold

Overthinking....

2009-10-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty tired. I'm tired of wrestiling with my flesh. See, I've been saying "yes" to absolutely everything. I have been doing everything because I HAVE to and not really because I WANT to. I feel like I am slowely losing the joy in the things that I used to wake up for. I don't really know how this has happened, but I am in a great need of REST. Not a day where I sleep, but a day where I spend a great amount of time with Christ. A day where I am alone and in the Word. Playing my guitar, painting. I don't know. A day of solitude. I am spread ever so thin and I am feeling really empty. I need prayer, I need words of encouragement. I need to know this season of valleys pass. Becaue it is testing me and pushing me down. I've got aches and pains from the people around me who are supposed to be loving me. We are supposed to be loving eachother. Why are we so prideful? Why are we so quick to put up the boundries, when we know that boundries don't keep others out, they fence us in. Father, I want trust, I want joy in relationships. We just need to love better. I'm just venting, cause I'm tired and weary and man, I just need prayer.

Thanks.

Woodleaf

2009-09-27T20:08:00.001-07:00

- Blogged using my iPhone. Huzzah.

The Birthday Potty

2009-08-20T11:47:00.001-07:00

Yesterday at Campaigners we had a "Birthday Potty" for one of our girl's Rachael. It was pretty awesome. How can I explain this; Rachael is a princess, but this is the one day she can be a princess and no one is allowed to make fun of her about it. :) So what better way to celebrate this princess's day of birth than in the girl's bathroom. Mainly because we knew she would assume we were going to decorate the club room for her, but we decided to deceive her. After the talk, we blindfolded her and stuffed all 40 kids in the bathroom where we then sang hapy birthday to her, ate cake and had a dance party, strobe light and all. There is something about birthdays in Younglife, I like to go all out. It makes them feel so stinking special.

But anyways Rachael. She is one of those kids that reminds you why you do this ministry. When I first met her, she hated me!!! She wanted the old ways, not the new ways, she didn't give anyone or anything a chance, she had her own friends, her own group. If you meet her now she has completely transformed. She is not done, not perfect, she is still growing and learning, but she is doing it with so much more heart and confidence than she had before. She has a heart o gold for the people around her now, nomatter who they are, she has learned to open her heart to them. She cares for people, even the ones who have hurt her. Her walk with God isn't a breeze for her, but she knows who she is in Him. She is so far ahead of the game and I am so proud of her.

Kid like this, change like this, God moving like this in lives right before my eyes, man, this is why I keep on keeping on.

God is so real!

Happy Birthday Rach!

The dark

2009-07-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

"Why blame the dark for being dark? It is far more helpful to ask why the light isn’t as bright as it could be."
-Rob Bell-

I work in the dark. I work surrounded by kids who hate their lives, their family, themselves. I work with kids who sleep in beds, that are under roofs with drugs, abuse, and addiction.

So i can't be mad at them when they make a dirty joke, or cuss when they are just casually talking. I can't blame them for not knowing better, because they don't. I'm not going to be a cop. I'm not going to correct a kids speech or dress, or the music they listen to, or the movies they watch, because in the end of my time with them, if they don't walk away from me knowing Jesus is real and alive and adores them, then what was my purpose? The world is dirty and dark. And I have the truth of God's word in my heart, I have the love and salvation that my Saviour has bestowed on me. if i don't share it, I am more wrong then a cuss word or a rap song.

We have become so accustomed to correction, that we have forgotten the basic instruction. It wasn't "Love God with all your heart and mind and correct each other's speech" It was to love your neighbor as yourself. Maybe even better than you love yourself. Your neighbor can be anyone.

I don't know, I am just ready to be broken for the world around me, so brokenhearted that it refines me. I don't mind crying to God over these kids, over people. it sucks sometimes to feel so much, but I know that the battle has already been won. He is victorious everyday. Death got socked in the face!

God create in us hearts that beat in sync with Yours!

Amina.

Orphan to Daughter

2009-07-12T18:06:00.001-07:00

So I got back from camp yesterday with Younglife, it was amazing. All 10 oh our kids, who btw worked thier butts off to be there, stood up at the "say so" and decided to walk with Christ. The awesome part is that God told me they would, and it happened. For the first time in a long time I was convinced by His promise. God did so much this week, that I can't fully explain in a blog....today, but one of the most powerful nights of our cabin time was the night my girls each had a piece of paper, one side was what they described themselves as before Christ and how they see themselves with Him. here are some of thier answers:
- dead - alive
- rebel - grounded
- faithless -faithful
- used - faultless
- lonely - belonging
- lost - found

Mine was:

Orphan - Daughter.

What God has called me to do with my life isn't easy, it never is! But God has a life in store, planned, and written out for each of us. Lord help us see who we are in you. I think the world would be so much sweeter if we all figured it out.

AMINA

"I don't want to fight anymore"

2009-06-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

I realize I haven't blogged in almost a month, and for all 2 of you who read...I am sorry. God has been doing a lot of business with me lately. It hasn't always been the most enjoyable excursion, but I feel I am being refined. i've learned that the world and the people that it holds, are not against me. See, I've had this broken, wretched of a heart for a while now, that has kept me from being open, and vulnerable, and just down right kind. But I decided to quit that. I'm done being that person. I'm done fighting and raising my dukes to every occasion that ruffles my feathers. I am deciding to look further into who people are and consider them. I am deciding to to love people sincerely. I want to be a peacemaker and I want o be a witness of all the good God is. God has been giving me some really solid friends, who assure me they love me even when I'm laying in the dirt. And I want to be like them, I want to be like that. I realize that when I let my guard down, when I enter a room in peace, life is enjoyable, moments are not awkward, marriage is as it was made to be, friendships are pillows. God desires this for my life and for yours.

I want to bring heavenly relationships on to earth, as much as possible.

I want to be a peacemaker.

Thanks Jill, Brittany and Carly, for loving me in the dirt. You guys teach me how to be a friend.

Thanks Josh for loving me consistently.

You guys oooze Jesus.

Two Years

2009-05-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a long and sometimes difficult road. But there is noone else I'd rather share it with, noone else I'd rather have by my side. I love you more than I could ever show you. I hope you know. You are amazing. You ooze Jesus.

I love you man.

White Man

2009-05-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

-The Micheal Gungor Band-

God is not a man
God is not a white man
God is not a man sitting on a cloud

God cannot be bought
God will not be boxed in
God will not be owned by religion

But God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone

God is not a man
God is not an old man
God does not belong to Republicans
God is not a flag
Not even American
And God does not depend on a government

But God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone
God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone

Atheists and Charlatans and Communists and Lesbians
And even old Pat Robertson, oh God He loves us all
Catholic or Protestant, Terrorist or President
Everybody, everybody, love, love, love, love, love

How I spent my mornings........

2009-04-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

Hosanna

2009-04-07T12:22:00.000-07:00

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity

Save the Christians....1/2

2009-04-03T00:14:00.000-07:00

I woke up with this to add.....

I know my last post may seem all so negative and liberal, and a bunch of new age hoopla, and if that’s what you get from it, then you’ve completely misunderstood my point. Maybe it’s my job that has stirred a passion for justice in my heart. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen broken people on a daily basis and the way religion rips us apart. Maybe I am tired of theological debates, and our human nature to want to be right. I don’t know if I am right in all of this, I could possibly be completely wrong. I do know that I’ve never loved Christ so much as I do today. I've never known Him so real and I've never felt so free! I’ve never hungered for His word more than I do now. I’ve never felt His heartbeat until I entered this season of my life. There is joy in following Christ. When we can see that we are lame and He is great. We are all wrong and He is right. When all began to understand His sacrifice and the love for us ALL that kept Him on the cross, man we are all going to see a revolution...

Allright, I'm going to bed, soapbox and all.

Save the Christians.

2009-04-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

I don’t like tolerance. Now you may be thinking “Woaahhh Soto, where are you going with this?” Well this is where I am going. I don’t think that if the world was a more tolerant place to live we would be better off. There is this certain reaction that we have as Christians when we don’t like someone, if someone annoys you, bothers you; smells funny….we tolerate them, right? I mean if we are trying to be good Christians, we tolerate them so we can remain free of blame; “Well I was nice to them...” But if we are trying to be like Christ, then we look beyond our own selfish expectations on who that person should be, and we love them for who they are. To tolerate is not to love, not in a genuine aspect, and I don’t think in the way Christ wanted it. I’m not saying let’s just accept everyone and everything for who and what they are because it’s all about lOoOOoOve! I’m saying, let’s love in truth, and let’s be true in our love. Listen, we don’t have the Bible figured out, we don’t know what Jesus meant to the T on some things or why some things are written and some things aren’t, and I honestly think if we all had that kind of knowledge we’d let it get to our heads. I’m, saying read the Bible, know the truth, and love genuinely.
I don’t like when people force religious opinions on others. I think that we are human, we have feelings, and we have opinions and God created us to be such a way. However, I am so sad when we battle over what church is better and whose version of the bible is wrong and why it should be thrown off a cliff. I’m not being tolerant at all of the things in this world that are false, or translations that don’t in fact exhibit the truth, I’m saying that there are so many hurting people in this world, and we are sitting here arguing about “The Message” and “The NIV”. There is some beatnik sitting in a coffee shop reading The Message and saying “dude, I want to know this Jesus.” Who cares if he didn’t read it in thee’s and thou’s? Is that the great commission? I mean we all have these opinions; we all have these thoughts that we’ve heard someone say and have made them our own, so why are we taking credit for our “genius acts”? And I am not saying that this is bad, we learn from each other, that is the way it has always been and if it wasn’t that way we’d all be running around naked grunting at each other. It’s good to be yourself and have your own thoughts, but allow others to have their own and don’t tear them down if they don’t equate yours.
I don’t like the way we as Christians are programmed and micro-chipped. If you don’t agree with me, that is OK, if I don’t agree with you…that also is OK. One of the greatest quotes I’ve ever heard was said by pastor Church Smith, the founder of Calvary Chapel. “If you agree with everything I say you are wrong.” Enough said.
I don’t like it when Christians are focused on recruiting other Christians to “their church.” Josh was out a few months ago with some friends, and one of them asked where we were going to church now and after Josh replied one of his friends replied; “You can come back to --------, whenever you want.” This really bothered me. I mean, does it matter? If we are being fed by the word, if we are receiving solid fellowship and community, if we are being ministered when we enter into worship, If we are praying with each other and being refreshed…..does it matter? I mean really, does it?!
I don’t like that when I see someone from high school I graduated with tells me that she is pregnant, the first thing I think of is….”but she isn’t married, I’m going to pray for her.” Instead of thinking, that I am glad she is keeping the baby, she is excited about it, and that God can do anything He wants. I’m not being tolerant, I know the way she is living isn’t God’s will for her, but all of a sudden it became my job to say; “dude, that’s exciting, I’m going to be praying for you guys.” I mean, God’s loving-kindness is what drew me to Him, and if I can show that to someone, I really want to.

This is why I love that this is my blog.

2009-03-31T18:09:00.000-07:00

I Run Down The Aisle

2009-03-27T22:37:00.000-07:00

I go thru these stages where I go back to these old school cds, then realize why I liked them so much. This week it has been the song "wedding dress" by Mr. Derek Webb. Ive listened to it is 9 times today, yesterday 5 times, and the day before 10. I've highlighted the verses that have really stuck out to me. I never stop relating to this song. God is so patient with us, so gentle.

Wedding Dress - Derek Webb

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I?m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Just Because

2009-03-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

The "Kids" from Younglife are on Spring break right now, so Josh and I had a Monday Night Off, it was so nice!
Josh, dinner, and mexican hot cocoa! Good night.

Cadillac Records

2009-03-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

They say "mother-effer" like every other second, but aside from that, such a cool story. Plus Beyonce, her performance was impressive.

Soto Stamp Of Approval.

I'm Not Who I Was.

2009-03-17T21:37:00.001-07:00

I was a fat kid. But that isn't what this blog is about, let me break it down for you. I went to lunch with some of my high school friends yesterday. It is so crazy, high school. I remember someone telling me that my best friends in high school will not be my best friends in life. I denied it, but now I see it is factual. Aside from anti-social networking, I talk to about 2 of my high school friends "semi-regularly" to this day. I'm fine with it, trust me, I'm not like bitter or saddened, because we've all grown up, gone out own ways, and are living our own life. However, yesterday, I was eating sushi with "Mad-Dog", whom I am in contact with still, and Mary, who I haven't seen in like 2 years. I think it's going to be all hunky dorry let's catch up, but it is totally not, not going to lie, it was kinda awkward. I mean I don't know where to start, what to say, what to ask, it's been THAT long. So ofcourse when all you really have in common now is the past, it gets brought up, so there we were splurting out memories of rollerblading and such, when the "me" in high school gets brought up, the "hyprocritical self righteous I pee holy water" person I was. I'm not going to lie, that was who I was. Truth be told I didn't know Jesus like I do know. I mean, I'm still growing, I'm still getting to know Him, I am still learning, I'll never on earth be the perfect Christian. However, I know that His grace is satisfying, I know His forgiveness is plenty, I know His truth told in love is peaceful, and His love is pure. I know that if I try my best to reflect His grace, forgiveness, truth, and love I am better off. I know that if I memorize the Bible like the back of my hand, but don't love in words and actions, my knowledge doesn't serve any purpose. I know that when I read the Bible, it should be to encourage and teach me and help me to encourage people around me, not to prove I am more spiritual than others. I know these things now, only because I've had to learn them in humility. I've had to learn them the hard way.

Let me break it down for you...

Friends, old and new, past and present,

I'm sorry for who I was. For being the hypocrite. I'm sorry if I ever made you confused about faith or who Jesus was. I'm sorry I've been self righteous and lame. I'm sorry I haven't been more like Jesus. I hope you can forgive me, I hope you can give me the chance to show you I am not who I was. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a friggin' mess, but He's carried me this far. In the end love wins. I've really seen it.

So I guess that is it for now. Hopefully the next time you are in town, you'll holla at me.

-Erika

We go to a new church.

2009-03-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

We've prayed, we've searched, and we're so blessed by where God has brought us. It's been a long road in finding a home church that Josh and I could agree and go to TOGETHER, not as two seperate people, but as one, a couple. Everytime we go Josh and I feel more and more like this is the place we are supposed to be. It's really been refreshing, and we've gotten to pray with eachother and worship with eachother, and there is absolutely nothing better.

yo yo check it:

www.vintagechurch.org

Life as we know it.

2009-03-03T13:26:00.001-08:00

Thing I am noticing about my life:

**My job is hard, you see I had this idea that is my "job" aka what I got paid for..was ministry, it would be all fun and sunshine and smiles, but it IS NOT! Yesterday we had one of the most difficult clubs. I get so discouraged so fast, and it's hard. It's hard to know that why I feel the attack is not because God wants me to give up, but it is because satan wants me too. I believe in this ministry. I believe that Younglife can be used in a powerful way to bring kids to a place of acceptance for who they are by showing them the love of the Living God. I have to remember that. I have to think of Carla, this freshman girl who has a heart to walk with Jesus, at the age of 15, she already knows she wants Jesus. I have to think of Rachel, who wants to ahng out with me? And I have to realize, I am a big dork, but I have Jesus to offer her. There are kids in this group that are just waiting for someone to come along side them and be their friend, a friend with no expectations but that can still encourage them to do things different. I don't know. It's hard, it really is, but it's supposed to be right?**

"Help me see the light, I'm reaching thru the fight, Yah Weh, show me the Kingdom."
-Bethany Dillon-

** I watch MTV too much, but the other day someone was talking about TI, and I mentioned that I liked his new song, and they looked at me like I was a new breed of freak.**

**I like my dog, as cheesey as it sounds, he brings alot of joy to Josh and I. His farts however smell like hot death**

**Adele...get at her album, you won't regret it.**

**Josh, we've been reading the Love Dare book together, at different times. I've been praying for him more, and condiering him more. I really feel like God is working in us, and in our marriage. It's been really hard, but I feel like we are getting somewhere, I feel like we are growing. I appreciate him so much. My love for who HE is, has never been so captivating. He really is the most beautiful man. He deeply cares for people, for life, and his relationship with Jesus is so genuine. Not to mention, lately he has made me laugh so much. He really makes me day so sweet and my life so joyful. I get why God created marriage, I am finally getting it.**

** I don't know how to rest. God show me how to be still**

White As Snow

2009-02-25T10:49:00.000-08:00

"Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole
Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole"
-Jon Foremon

I see God doing so much in Younglife.
His kids are being drawn to Him,
I'm absolutely humbled to be able to witness it.

When Erika has pneumonia....

2009-02-12T14:26:00.000-08:00

she watches things like this...............

Never gets old...

I'm Ready Now.

2009-01-28T22:40:00.000-08:00

Tonight at Campaigners (Younglife Bible Study) we went thru John 10, "The Good Shepard" We talked about how sheperds left the flock to find the lost sheep, how the shepards used to break the legs of the sheep and carry them on their shoulders, to heal them, to keep them close, to bring them to healing. As God does with us. We stray, we walk, we run, and God finds us where we are and sometimes has to break us so He can heal us, so He can find us, so He can bring us close, SO HE CAN CARRY US. I set up a cross in the room today and had the students write down their struggles, their desires, their sins, their goals, and whatever else, and then we took nails and hammered those notecards to the cross. It was such a rad thing to see them sit there and think about it, write it down, and to get up and nail it to the cross. I explained the expression and the purpose and encouraged them to leave it there, and to let God work in their lives. After everyone left I read what the kids wrote, and it brought me to tears. I've had a hard week with my job and God spoke to me so much thru those notes, He told me these kids were broken, they need Him, they need His love. Today I was reminded that the youth of our community, nation, world need love, need pure, good, beautiful love. God's love. I'm so encouraged.

Pax. - eriKa-

Leaves my fleshy heart warm.

2009-01-23T16:36:00.000-08:00

Amos.

2009-01-23T12:47:00.000-08:00

This is the newest edition to our family.

Amos Soto.

Having a puppy is alot like having a kid. Well, it's easier, but I would recommend having a dog before having a kid. Josh and I have learned and feel like God confirmed, we are definately not ready to have kids. We are content with eachother, we love being random and doing things at the spur of the moment. We love just being able to have eachother.

Then along came Amos, who needs a bath every 5 days, eats twice a day, is pretty much scared of the world, and is starting to get potty training down. Tomorrow is our first full day without him because Josh and I have a Youth Workers Conference and I am explaining the Amos-care procedures to her.."he gets a treat after he poops or pees outside." "don't let him eat human food." Like I said, it's kinda like having a kid.

But it is also so much fun. We hang out more outside, he makes us laugh, and he's the freaking weirdest dog ever. I think I've heard him bark 4 times and it's when we aren't playing with him. Plus, he is a definate cuddler, he just crawls into your lap and chills.

Amos, your a rad little dude.

Human Events.

2009-01-22T17:43:00.000-08:00

Oh Lord, God of our fathers
this day let it be known
That you Lord,
Are God of the present tense

Oh Lord, Father of history
this day let it be known
That you Lord,
Are present in our human events

-Jon Foreman-

Review!

2009-01-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

www.indievisionmusic.com/wordpress/2009/01/14/erika-soto-wonderfully-made/

Check it!

Bromance

2009-01-15T10:46:00.000-08:00

Okay so if you haven't heard MTV has this new show called "Bromance." About this guy Brody Jenner finding a "BFF". I couldn't help but watch this as I was channel surfing one night, and it was hilarious. I absolutely love how women always get dubbed as emotional and dramatic, the fact is that the human race is emotional and dramatic....this show is a joke. a house full of men fighting for the friendship and affection of one man.....and that man is Brody Jenner, some pretty boy from the show "the Hills" who is only famous for dating Lauran Conrad. (At the moment I am concerned that I know this much, but then I recall a certain sophomore explaining this to me while talking about Laguna Beach.)Anyways, I have already spent too much time on a blog about this, more than I wanted to. So I will leave you with the Urban Dictionary definition.

1. Bromance
Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.

Steve: Ah, Dave!!! I can't believe you stole this first pressing of Aladdin Sane from your record store for me. We were just talking about this the other night.

Dave: No sweat, pal.

Steve: That is some full-on bromance. You're the man.

Adopted.

2009-01-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

So the pic below, we got her brother. :) We get him next week.
Any name suggestions? :)

So stoked!

Adoption.

2009-01-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

We just put in our application for this little lady.
Cross yo fingas for us!

-Erika

2008 Fun Stuff

2009-01-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Albums 2008

(No Particular Order)

1) Patty Griffin - Children Running Through
2) Ingrid Michealson - Girls and Boys
3) A Five Frenzy - One Cell in the Sea
4) Missy Higgins - On A Clear Night
5) Brooke Frasier - Albertine
6) Ray LaMontage - Trouble
7) Brandon Heath - What If We
8) Carly Escoto - At Long Last
9) Juno Soundtrack
10) Kimya Dawson - Hidden Vagenda

My Favorite Movies

(Again No Particular Order)

1) 27 Dresses
2) Baby Mama
3) The Dark Knight
4) Get Smart
5) Ghost Town
6) Iron Man (Sorry I liked it, dude, I just did.)
7) Tropic Thunder
8) King Fu Panda
9) Love Guru
10) Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 2

Favorite Trends I Have Embraced

1) Skinny Jeans
2) Toms
3) Bandanas
4) Blowfish Boots
5) Scarfs
6) Record Players
7) Vinyl
8) Beanie Berets
9) Leg Warmers
10) Vests...lots and lots of them.

That's it for now.

I couldn't help it.

2008-12-23T16:36:00.000-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

My King.

2008-12-22T11:16:00.000-08:00

My Pastor Nate put this video on his blog, and I just thought I would also share it. It's so powerful, so true, and without a doubt victorius.

That's My King! from Albert Martin on Vimeo.

The Basics

2008-12-22T09:28:00.000-08:00

I've come to this conclusion that we as Christians need to get back to the basics.

Matthew 22: 37-40

Jesus said, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

I feel like those of us who have been hurt or burned out by the church can get into this bitter state where we become to critical on how much the "church" needs to change. Our hearts become hard and to step into any kind of church becomes such an attack that we quickly diminish the good that has come from the ministries within the church. We start to quickly judge Christians for being too "religious" too "righteous" and we hate them for it because we ourselves have found "real spirituality with Jesus". I am only writing this from a state of experiance, if I am alone in my struggle, so be it, but I do not think that is the case. I've seen this in so many of my friends, co workers, and even ministry leaders. We don't need to make Christianity new, or hip, or refresh it, we need to get back to the basics of it. We need to love the Lord God with everything we have and are, and love our neighbors as ourselves....maybe even more than we love ourselves. We need to be able to defend the faith, just by knowing what we stand for, thus we need to be in the word of God, we need to read the bible. We need to be sensitive to people, to situations, we need to have the eyes and heart of God, thus we need to spent time praying and listening to His voice, we need His Spirit to devour all our senses. We don't need to argue which church is right, which building is better, what worship is more free. The church isn't the building and the worship is our lives.

I think if we, Christians, want to start changing this world, we need to start loving the church first. We need to stop quarriling, we need to set our bitterness at the throne of God and praise God that He is the head of the body. He is the judge, He has the say, and it is the right one. Christians need to start loving Christians. We've gotten into this state of rebellion, these critical, and meaningless arguements that do not benefit anything or anyone.

How can the church love the world if we can't even love eachother?

That's just my heart.

-Erika

My Job.

2008-12-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

2 Years I have been involved.

8 People on Staff

70 Kids we reach on a weekly basis at Fort Ord

1 Jesus to praise for it all.

I'll write more later......

Target ran outta gingerbread houses...

2008-12-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

So I made a train. Wasn't as much fun and the candy was old.

TARGET=JUDAS ISCARIOT

Rudolph and Rudolpha

2008-12-17T22:51:00.001-08:00

AKA Paige and Seth.

Arlene is a lady that works with me at the chapel. She makes pretty kids.

Holy.

2008-12-16T20:06:00.000-08:00

O holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night
Of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world
In sin and error pining
'Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night
O night divine

A thrill of hope
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angels' voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night
O night divine

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!
O Night Divine.

Is love alive?

2008-12-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUO0gd7cr9o

Stand By Me

2008-12-12T12:59:00.000-08:00

The New Place

2008-12-12T09:03:00.001-08:00

The Music Place.

The Buissness Place.

The Sleeping Place.

The Food Place

The Eating Place.

The TV/Friend Place. Plus, we get free cable, which I am not used to, so I still end up watching something I really don't want to because I forget that the channel I am watching isn't the only clear channel we have. Cable: A difficult concept to master.

Christmas is soon, dude. I love it.

Black Sheep.

2008-12-04T08:27:00.000-08:00

The tagline? "There are 5 million sheep in New Zealand, and their PISSED!"

Katy Perry

2008-11-26T10:32:00.000-08:00

This week @ Younglife my talk was about Katy Perry, now when I told some of my friends that I was basing a YL talk on someone who was famous for the "I kissed a girl and I liked it" song, I got quite the reaction. Katy Perry also known as Katy Hudson was raised in Santa Barbara by her parents who both happen to be pastors in England. She was raised in the church, she was a christian musician and had a pretty solid career until she "swayed" away and started involvement in the secular music scene, not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but somehow her beliefs and her morals kind of shifted. I found this all out by reading this youth leader's magazine, that I never read because I personally think they are corny, but something in me desired the reading of this one. ;) I was totally blown away by this, I was at Spirit West Coast about 6 years ago waiting in line to get Relient K's autograph, and at the time she was dating the lead singer, I totally remember talking to her and that a few months ago I saw her in a Seventeen magazine talking about how she wanted to reshape christian music and how people percieve christians....etc....

How the times have changed. I don't know where she is with Jesus personally, I do know that her music doesn't reflect that of someone WALKING with Jesus.

So I talked about her in that way. Then I talked about Paul, you know Paul. Paul, the scholar, the wealthy, popular, well-liked and respected man, who gave everything he had to follow Jesus. Paul had a rough life of persecution and trial and yet he had joy. He gave the world up to follow Jesus. Katy Perry gave Jesus up for the world. And when I read her interviews she seems so against being Christian, yet Paul is was beaten, bruised, sick, tired, but he loved to follow Jesus.

It is so easy to get caught up in the grey areas of the world and faith. The things that the bible doesn't say black and white so we either make up our own rules or ignore what the bible DOES say. I am glad God chose not to tell us everything, we think we know enough as it is. I say this because I think there is something in us that give up Jesus, for the world. For popular, for fame, fortune, we yeild. If you know me, you know I believe in grace and I believe no arguement is worth any substance if by the end of it people don't know God loves them. I truley believe that Katy Perry knows the way. I don't know what led her to where she is, but I am pretty sure it was what drives most from Christianity. Ghandi said "I would have been a Christian, if it wasn't for the Christians." I think more than ever we need to reflect Jesus, not a denomination, not a building, but Jesus. Stand for Jesus.

Lastly, I read to the YL-ers, this song I found by Katy Perry, called "Lost" which I think, sometimes, can be our own hearts. People are reaching out and asking in so many ways for love, we all need to get off our high church pews, and meet people where they are at.

Pray for people. Love like Jesus.

LOST

I'm out on my own again

Face down in the porcelain

Feeling so high but looking so low

Party favors on the floor

Group of girls banging on the door

So many new fair-weather friends

Have you ever been so lost

Known the way and still so lost

Caught in the eye of a hurricane

Slowly waving goodbye like a pageant parade

So sick of this town pulling me down

My mother says I should come back home but

Can't find the way cause the way is gone

So if I pray am I just sending words into outer space

Have you ever been so lost

Known the way and still so lost

Another night waiting for someone to take me home

Have you ever been so lost

Is there a light

At the end of the road

I'm pushing everyone away'

Cause I can't feel this anymore

Can't feel this anymore

Have you ever been so lost

Known the way and still so lost

Another night waiting for someone to take me home

Have you ever been so lost

Have you ever been so LOST.....

Turkey Day

2008-11-25T10:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah dawg. Yeah.

Maybe this time around.

2008-11-23T14:13:00.000-08:00

"Maybe this time around we'll work a little harder

maybe this time around we'll live a little smarter

Maybe this time around we'll sing it like we mean itthen when we get that down

we'll live it like we sing it

Because we canYou know we can

How bout this time aroundwe love with more than our words

We'll find a way to speak, that lets the others be heardmmm hhmmmmand then this time around

We won't fear ruffled featherscause some of them won't believe,

that we'll change the world for better

But you know we will

You knooooow ...Eventhough it seems impossible yeah it's possible

I believe with all my heart

if we'd only lay our weapons down this time around

if we all would play our partsour parts...well then this time around

if we would stop our running

and use our hands and feet

we'll bring the kingdom comingOhhh oh we'll bring the kingdom coming

Ooooh whoa ohOooh whoa oh Ooooh whoa oh oh

we'll bring the kingdom comingwhooooa oh ohwhooooah oh oh oh

We'll bring the kingdom..."

-Carly Escoto-

Amina.

2008-11-23T11:38:00.001-08:00

This past week I've gotten to go on tour with one of my good friends Carly Escoto. Carly is amazingly talented. She's from down south and had been touring for about two weeks. Carly is one of the most genuine human that I have ever met, her heart for the Lord is honest and humble and her music reflects just that. She is also an amazing friend. Fellowship with her makes my life so much sweeter! And the fact that she gets along with Josh, is the biggest plus, haha! We got to house her for like 5 days and it wasan't awkward at all, that's how you know it's a sweet friendship, when you can have sleepovers with friends and your husband. :) In all honestly, the Lord has been showing me lately how blessed I am by the people He has put in my life. My husband is the best friend I have ever had, he encourages me, he is patient, kind, and he makes me laugh. His love for Jesus has been more real since he has gotten home than I have ever seen. my mom has been such a blessing to watch her be a married woman! She serves her husband, she is patient with him, and she loves him and supports him, it's been so cool to see my mother as an exampl in that way, because she has been an example to me in so many ways. My brother Abran has been growing so much. He has started being a leader for Wyld Life (The junior high version of Younglife) and it has been so cool to see him take such responsibility and especially get up there and teach. In a single sentence; I am blessed.

In other news, Josh and I are moving to Marina soon! It's a great place, and we get to own a dog! Holla back........... The new job is amazing. I get to teach kids about Jesus and have excuses to play mafia and hide and go seek in the dark....

Anyways until next time,

-Erika

PS: Check out Carly's Myspace: www.myspace.com/carlyescoto

Friends.

2008-11-12T16:32:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday we had a grip.....a grip?...yeah sure why not?! We had a grip of friends over just to hang out and catch up with eachother. I am realizing how more and more important it is to have friends in your life who, maybe can't be there all the time, but when they are there, it is like no time has passed. I am so thankful for people in my life who enocurage Josh and I , in our walks, in our marriage, and just in life. I am thankful for all of you and I love you all to the deepest of my heart! Being in youth ministry, you surround yourself with kids about 75 % of your week. Although that is where I feel called to, I've come to realize that my life cannot consisit of fellowship with strictly kids or students. I have to have release, I have to have balance. If not then you are just constantly giving and giving and giving and not being filled. It is so important to have people in your life who will hold up your arms when you are week. Thank you guys for lifting us up. Amina.

Love like Jesus

2008-11-11T00:07:00.001-08:00

I get to hang out with there kids. I get to hug them and talk to them. To love them. I get to buy them food, clean their messes, make them laugh, take them to camp. I get to teach these kids about a loving and living God who loves and cares for them like no one ever could. It is a hard job. It is sretching in every aspect of patience and even tolerance. At the end of the day I am exhausted, but still find strength to let them know I am there. This is my job. MCYM and Younglife are there awesome platforms for kids to see God's love. Monday nights is games, craziness, messy, loud, and a bible study at the end. It's not too long or too short, but it is enough to where these kids know we mean what we do. And the fact that they keep coming back to hear it, well that is the part God talked about when He said "My word does not return void." Then we have wednesday nights "Campaigners" which we are going thru the book of John with the students. It is so awesome to see their growth, their interest, their hunger, and desire for God. They read things for the first time, and learn things it has taken me years to understand. Pray for these kids. Pray for us leaders. That in the midst of the downward spiral the world is going down.......we still have the ability thru Christ Jesus to shed hope and to love like Jesus.